Berries on A St.

I never cease to be amazed at how God provides beautiful things for us everywhere if we are willing to open our eyes and see.

Frolicking in the Colors

Click on the collage for a closer look!

Feeling Inspired

I don't feel inspired to write. But I was reading a blog today by a professional writer that said that she wrote everyday even when she didn't feel inspired. Lots of people go do their jobs when they don't feel like it. They have to... so also, she had to. I don't HAVE to, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't put in the effort to even try.

I'm working on learning how to do some things with my writing. I want to play with words, be poetic, make pictures and laugh. I want my words to somersault and back flip across people's minds.

So, I think.

The Witch

He comes in every week to chat with me. He tells stories and laughs and laughs. He loves to play with word images and some of the ones that come out in our conversations are fascinating. He knows about Christians, occasionally quotes Bible verses, but doesn't really understand the heart of the gospel. But I think he's beginning to get curious.

The last couple of weeks we've been talking about light and sunsets and color. It all began with a discussion about my upcoming newsletter that I was writing.

Then today he told me that a group of Christians had a party in or near his front yard (not sure where exactly). And they glowed with light like we had been talking about. He enjoyed that light and basked in it in his living room rocking chair like someone who goes to California for vacation sun. But he can't live there, he said. He's too dark.

He does things like go to the Burning Man festival. They burn some huge statue or something. He admitted that that was a man-made fake, a counterfeit attempting to be real light. We discussed how its size is trying to make up for the lack of true light, that it is missing reality.

It made me think of the Israelites in the desert making a golden calf because although they had experienced God they wanted something earthly.

But he says he's too dark. God is showing him light.

What to do?

Do you know how old these 5 and 1/4 inch floppy disks are? Do you know how many people keep these things? Do you know anyone who has the capabilities of reading them?

Work and Having Lost My Camera

Those are my excuses for it having been three weeks since I last posted. The first is a lame excuse since I don't actually work as much as I should. It was the second that really devastated me. Unfortunately for Mr. Procrastination who was getting fat and happy, I found my camera yesterday. Now I only have to go get photos of all the things I thought of taking pictures of for the blog... yeah.

A FENCE OR AN AMBULANCE

‘Twas a dangerous cliff, as they freely confessed,

Though to walk near its crest was so pleasant;

But over its terrible edge there had slipped

A duke and full many a peasant.

So the people said something would have to be done,

But their projects did not at all tally;

Some said, “Put a fence around the edge of the cliff,”

Some, “An ambulance down in the valley.”

But the cry for the ambulance carried the day,

For it spread through the neighboring city;

A fence may be useful or not, it is true,

But each heart became brimful of pity

For those who slipped over that dangerous cliff;

And the dwellers in highway and alley

Gave pounds or gave pence, not to put up a fence,

But an ambulance down in the valley.

“For the cliff is all right if you’re careful,” they said,

“And, if folks even slip and are dropping,

It isn’t the slipping that hurts them so much,

As the shock down below when they’re stopping.”

So day after day, as these mishaps occurred,

Quick forth would these rescuers sally

To pick up the victims who fell off the cliff,

With their ambulance down in the valley.

Then an old sage remarked: “It’s a marvel to me

That people give far more attention

To repairing results than to stopping the cause,

When they’d much better aim at prevention.

Let us stop at its source all this mischief,” cried he,

“Come, neighbors and friends, let us rally;

If the cliff we will fence we might almost dispense

With the ambulance down in the valley.”

“Oh, he’s a fanatic,” the others rejoined,

“Dispense with the ambulance? Never!

He’d dispense with all charities, too, if he could;

No! No! We’ll support them forever.

Aren’t we picking up folks just as fast as they fall?

And shall this man dictate to us? Shall he?

Why should people of sense stop to put up a fence,

While the ambulance works in the valley?”

But a sensible few, who are practical too,

Will not bear with such nonsense much longer;

They believe that prevention is better than cure,

And their party will soon be the stronger.

Encourage them then, with your purse, voice, and pen,

And while other philanthropists dally,

They will scorn all pretense and put up a stout fence

On the cliff that hangs over the valley.

Better guide well the young than reclaim them when old,

For the voice of true wisdom is calling,

“To rescue the fallen is good, but ‘tis best

To prevent other people from falling.”

Better close up the source of temptation and crime

Than deliver from dungeon or galley;

Better put a strong fence round the top of the cliff

Than an ambulance down in the valley.

--Joseph Malins

Flowers of Flame

I'm starting to notice a pattern here. Are you?

These seemed to become part of the sun...

As a teenager people told me I was all about Jesus and flowers. I remember feeling a bit miffed that they thought I could be so easily defined and put in a box. But if I were going to be "all about" only two things... these would be a good two.

Pots of Sunshine

We painted these flower pots yellow.

The tomatoes were just sitting there on the windowsill.

And God made the sunshine!

More on Bright Colors

I covered some shoe boxes with pretty paper... cheaper than buying matching organizational supplies from the store and way more fun!

My walls are this bright orange color, which I really like with teal. =D

Bright Colors

I've decided that I really like bright colors. Growing up, I was always a pastels and neutrals kind of girl. And while I LOVE the white and pale blue kitchen at my home in the ME, I also like the colors that I recently painted my mother's kitchen here in the U.S. They were inspired, in part, by this Turkish bowl:

I really like the Turkish pottery you can find in Istanbul. It's all so bright and cheerful. And yellow is such a sunshiny color. As a child my color was yellow... yellow cup, yellow blanket, etc. But painting the kitchen yellow? Nope.

The walls and cupboards used to be off-white and the curtain a medium green color (before picture will come later). And now the walls are red... my mother calls it fire engine red. It really isn't the color we planned, it's brighter than the paint chip said it would be. But I'm okay with that! The curtain is gold yellow and we've just finished painting some little flower pots yellow to put some little herbs in on the window sill. White trim and some black accents also play a part in the room. My parents were also inspired to redo the flooring (which hasn't happened yet). It's going to be lovely when it is all finished. I'll post pictures of the project then.

Water Lilly Love

My brother is so amazing.

He brought us water lilies from the lake.

Aren't they beautiful!

All you need is a little light.

It's amazing how an ordinary vase of flowers, a broken chair, or a simple meal can be transformed by a little bit of sunlight streaming through a window. Suddenly it looks gourmet even though it was thrown together by three girls in a tiny kitchen with whatever they could find.
And it's beautiful.


How often would a little vision of the light of Christ transform our personal worlds from the ordinary to the extraordinary?

Further adventures of the cockroach...

While visiting some friends Katie and I found another cockroach. She killed it with my shoe. Chacos could come up with a new advertising campaign... "Our shoes can kill cockroaches excellently!" Well, I'm sure that the people they pay to come up with slogans could do better than that, but the concept is there.

Back at the house other roommates put the cockroach spray to good use spraying one that showed up on Molly's bed. That's scary. In bathrooms is bad... but beds? This is too far. Maybe they get a point for that one?

Girls 4
Cockroaches 2

The Score

Girls 2
Cockroaches 2

Coming up with a good scoring system for the cockroach war is a bit difficult. As of right now, we have killed 2. That makes a pretty good score. But as we hardly expect any of them to kill us... Their score is made up of the number of them we have seen since last kill. I realize this probably isn't fair. Their score should be higher as there are probably more that we haven't seen lurking about under our cupboard and in the drain in our bathroom. But since that thought is a little unnerving we'll imagine that only 2 still survive in the toilet room.

Yesterday we decided we needed to increase our technological level as shoes were a bit hit and miss... maybe too much "miss". So Katie bought a large spray can of Roach Killer and it now lives on the back of our toilet, a monument to the genocide we plan to inflict. Living in the shadow of Saddam Hussein's era and the chemical warfare he choreographed has not prevented us from agreeing that there is a time and a place for such things. This should be much easier to employ than a shoe when sometime after midnight, one of us walks bleary eyed into the bathroom and switches on the light to find one of the unwanted guests scuttling across the floor. Look on this, ye roaches, and despair!

Previously our only method of attack was for about four of us girls to each grab a shoe and stand around the bathroom door on our tip-toes. Katie managed to stand on the toilet and cover the drain to cut off its way of escape. Then, we attacked. It ran, there was screaming, but by the end the cockroach was a small pile of brown slime. As I said however, that is not the preferred method.

I look forward to seeing the new chemicals in action. But the war has gone cold since the arrival of the new weapon. Have they gone into permanent hiding? Did they smell the scent of death? We are waiting to find out!

A Great Honor

One of my students wrote a note thanking me for teaching him this year. He gave me one of the best compliments I've ever received. He said, "You taught me how to control my temper." Wow...

Clearing and Cleaning

So, the process begins to pack up to leave... but this time for a whole six months!

I just opened a bag full of my birthday cards and pictures drawn by my kids. I am thankful for each one.

• The pink envelope that says "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YUO" and had Superman stickers holding it closed in the back.
• The ones cut out in the shape of a heart with kisses and "I love you" written all over.
• The ones that play music (very badly out of tune and with a high pitch) when you open them.
• The good wishes, including the most popular "I hope all your wishes come true!"
• The ones with lots and lots of glitter.
  

All have bad spelling, worse grammar... and yet... I'm having trouble throwing them away. I'm going to miss my kids.

Yearbook Awkwardness

We finished the yearbook. Have you ever known 2 people to take on a project like that? It was ridiculous. I'll never do it again. Katie should never do it again. I saw the other side of midnight several times.

Now we laugh hysterically over nonsense. We're all sleep deprived. Kirsten is throwing popcorn at Molly. And we discuss European culture and breaking the awkward social barriers.

Going to the Movies

So I found out today that I really was on the news the other night. My roommate and I, having come to see the opening of Prince of Persia, hadn't counted on the camera crews. We enjoyed the movie... but we're not sure about whether or not we like being celebrities just for being foreigners.

How I sound...

Has anyone ever told you that you sound like your doing well? An e-mail or short phone call... and somehow they think you must be in excellent spirits. Why do people say stuff like that? If they are wrong are you supposed to say, "No actually... life is rough right now, I'm just smiling to keep from making everyone else's lives just as bad." Not that my life is bad right now... I'm just curious about the comment, especially when it is applied to an e-mail. I guess I am sounding good right now... hmm... what is it that spurs people on to make that comment at some times and not others. What specific words or phrases make that come to mind. It is only a question.

Being Thankful

1. That I am not afraid of being stranded on the side of the road in Iraq. (Which is where I was on Saturday.)
2. That I found a bright yellow duplo in my purse that somehow got there from children's church.
3. That the house is quiet right now.
4. That while life is hard, and I'm sick all the time, there is no where else I'd rather be.
5. That our power switches over automatically and I don't have to flip any switches when it does.
6. That friends are coming into town this week and we need the outer society.

Don't begin by assuming you don't understand.

When I'm speaking another language I usually assume that if it doesn't make sense I must not be understanding correctly. So, when a taxi driver turned back and asked me how long my husband had been dead I got a bit confused.

"No, no... I don't have a husband," I protested. Unfortunately that didn't really help explain things.

"Where did he die? Here? America?" the taxi driver persisted.

"No, nothing. No husband; dead or alive..." I struggled to try to say something like this but I made him only more confused. Then he pointed to a ring on the ring finger of my right hand.

Oh. I laughed. "No, this is just to be pretty." He then told me that that wasn't a pretty place for a ring. I guess here if you wear a gold colored ring on that finger then it means you were widowed. Oops.

Another cultural lesson.

It's dark.

I love rainy days. I love to curl up with a blanket and the wet cool smells and read a book. But reading books is hard when the lights go out. And if it is rainy with no electricity then it is also dark... which means it is very dark in the house which then tempts me to take a nap, which isn't the very best use of my time. Hmm....

No, I didn't EAT them!

I've got EYEBALLS!

And they were free!

In which we stand in a line wearing glitter...

It's old...

One of my housemates has a bed that broke the other night. Her bed has broken a few times over the past years. Tonight she told us that the bed was old. Poor bed. Then it was revealed that the bed was a whole six years old. How is that an old bed?

Adventures in the Classroom

Somehow, one of my kids got a hold of a Jesus action figure. If you press a button in his back he speaks random sentences from the Sermon on the Mount. He was the most muscly Jesus I have ever seen.

This is my inventor. This week he came up with a way to have 3 bottles of water all connected by straws. There was another straw that came up near his mouth so that he hardly had to move to take a drink. He's a genius. =)

GM Hopkins

I Wake and Feel the Fell of Dark

I wake and feel the fell of dark, not day ,
What hours, O what black hours we have spent
This night! what sights you, heart, saw; ways you went!
And more must, in yet longer light's delay.

With witness I speak this. But where I say
Hours I mean years, mean life. And my lament
Is cries countless, cries like dead letters sent
To dearest him that lives alas! away.

I am gall, I am heartburn. God's most deep decree
Bitter would have me taste: my taste was me;
Bones built in me, flesh filled, blood brimmed the curse.

Selfyeast of spirit a dull dough sours. I see
The lost are like this, and their scourge to be
As I am mine, their sweating selves; but worse.

One day I was asked...

“Did your parents hit you for saying for example: “I will not eat rabbit’s meat” and things like that?"

School Newroz Party

Dancing and Dancing and Dancing and Dancing....

Flies can be pretty...

9th grade Picnic 2010

This is just a bunch of photos from a class picnic put to Umbrella Beach by Owl City.

Isn't she a beauty!

This is my sewing machine... which needs some work... a new needle and the tension fixed... but I'm really thrilled to have it!

Torn

I'm having thoughts! It's so refreshing to have some time off and to be able to use some of that time to rediscover that I have a brain that does more than compute the problems right in front of me. Instead of fixing what's broken, there is something in me that wants to create what is beautiful. This has been an insane desire in me for as long as I can remember. It gets crowded out by the imminent and the urgent, but every now and then it is rebirthed and I am filled with the hope that I could write, draw, sculpt, sing, or create something beautiful. It doesn't have to be me by myself. The desire is somewhat fulfilled by planting hyacinth bulbs in pots by the window where God certainly does the work of it. Speaking of which, I need to go buy more dirt... Or wait, maybe I should pull out my paper and make cards... or what about my sewing? And it's been years since I wrote any poetry. Hmm... now for the choice.

Elections

I have difficulty distinguishing between fireworks and gunfire. The other night was definitely guns... I THINK tonight it's fireworks. But it is still slightly unnerving.

Stolen

Stolen from the blog of Sylvancreature

Is there somewhere
--anywhere--
a little lonesome cabin
lost among the forests
on a wild, deserted shore;

an empty little cabin:
rough hewn, worn, and solid
with a dandy drawing chimney,
books, and windows--nothing more?

I'm tired of noise and traffic,
people pushing, phones and letters,
dates and deadlines, styles and headlines,
pride and pretense, nothing more;

and I'm needing such a cabin,
near God's masterpiece of mountains--
such a lost and lonesome cabin
where a tired soul can adore.

~ Ruth Bell Graham

Barbie comes to life...

Finding the right jili kurdi fabric is a difficult adventure. There are so many to patterns to pick from, so many combinations, and so many styles and colors. Recently I took a couple of friends to pick out fabric for their own dresses. It was so much fun and both of them had a great "Aha" moment where the right fabric came into view. That's the one! Hooray! And then there was cutting and buying and smiling. Here's one with her teal blue over shiny blue and the bluish sequin near her is another part of it! Release your inner Barbie!

Negativity

How do you conquer a spirit of negativity? Not up and clear statements, just a regular attitude towards certain people or certain things. Why does it permeate and spread so quickly and so deep? What if I can't do anything about the source? Like a muddy rain that keeps coming, trickling down the face of the everything, making them all tan and brown. I can't get at the sky to make it stop raining. I cannot clean the air to keep it from being full of dirt. All I can do is pray for God to blow the dust away and then wash the car... again.

Dust...

All I can smell right now is dust. I taste dust. Fine, tan, everywhere dust. The world is sepia with ten feet of visibility. Our car was white and clean at two this afternoon. By five-thirty it was splotchy tan. Now, by nine o'clock, there is nothing white left. I'm considering starting a garden on the roof.

An Idaho State Sweatshirt suddenly showed up in my class!

An Idaho State Sweatshirt suddenly showed up in my class!, originally uploaded by thebeloved.

I'm from Idaho... I live halfway around the world from Idaho. So, you can imagine my surprise when one of my students has a sweatshirt that reads "Idaho State" on it. I stopped halfway through a sentence and asked him where he got the shirt. He got it here somewhere. How odd. Maybe the world is smaller than I thought!

Elections

People in the States get annoyed with campaigning and elections. I know I did. All those commercials, all the news media. Well, even here you can be thankful. Be thankful that half the city's populations doesn't spend all night driving slowly, honking, and waving flags in large groups. Be thankful that banners and posters don't plaster every wall, or that flags and fliers don't drape every light post.

Writing Project

So I've been telling my kids some stories lately of when I was a kid and their age. They've loved them. Most of it seems normal to me, of course... but they are fascinated. It makes me a real person to them and hopefully teaches them some of the things I've learned. But I can't spend all my class time telling them stories of my life. One of my students suggested that I write some of the stories down. So, I'm going to give it a try. I'll write and print them out here and staple them together and sell them to the kids. (Even basic photocopies are more expensive here than in the States.) They sounded interested and excited. Now I know what to do with all my "free time"! Funny.

Deep Gladness

I was feeling frustrated and tired today. I felt like giving up and wondered if I really was where I was supposed to be. Then I read this. "The place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet"... That's where I am! I lose track of time each morning and prefer being at my work even while I'm really sick. And I do meet aching needs... sometimes it's a hug to a little girl, or a smile at a student who feels alone, or opening and engaging minds that will shape the future of this country and region. Even if it isn't big, it is my "deep gladness".

"If you're not sure what to do next, consider Frederick Buechner's advice. He says to search for your vocation at "the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." You know you've found your own deep gladness when you lose track of time when you're engaged in your work. You know you've found work that meets the needs of an aching world when you discover ways that your work can bring comfort, help or healing to others."

On the Death of Dreams

Jenny Schroedel

The day of the newly well...

I washed the howsha today. (That is our tile patio.) Coldness, water... it was a little hard to get myself going into the job. But, once I got going it was fabulous. I love a bit of physical work. Being a teacher is so mental most of the time. I also helped tidy up our house a bit. Last night the power went out. It's really hard to clean up in the dark, so we just left it for the next day. I also built a little bookshelf for my schoolbooks using a board, a pillowcase, and bricks. These bricks are monstrous and heavy... especially four at at time. But I like my bookshelf. I made pizza today too... what else... some grading. I might not have been so productive with the rest of my day if I had not been procrastinating from reading some of my students legends. Fifth grade ESL writing makes me unable to speak English. All week I've been having to re-say things so that they actually make sense. Walked to the grocery store... or rather several convenience stores. Bought butter, margarine, cheese, toothpaste, coca-cola, bread and matches. No napkins made an appearance or I would have bought them too. Kurdistan is a run-on sentence. Thus my sentences also have become rather winding and pointless. =) It is a funny thought. Xwat legal!

I'm in a room full of oil

I'm in a room full of oil, originally uploaded by thebeloved.

The oil is only about one inch deep, actually, and at a level of about waist high. It is incredibly reflective and plays all sorts of tricks on your eyes, even when you are up close to it.

In the Dark...

I'm very good at doing many things in the dark. I can put on my makeup in the dark (nothing fancy). I can walk through my house in the dark. I can exercise in the dark. But some very simple things are difficult to do in the dark. Take putting toothpaste on your toothbrush. Try doing that with your eyes closed one of these days! It's a challenge... and one that doesn't have consistent results even with practice.