Amy Carmichael once wrote that God was asking her new questions: "May I deal with every shred of your reputation just I choose, and will you be silent? Are you willing to obey in everything, every time, everywhere?" This same question He asks of me. My reputation, it is a thing I hold precious. Most people admire me and like me, if only from a distance. I am not known as a flirt or chaser of boys. These things I hold as part of my identity. But my identity should not sway with public opinion or even my family's opionion. I know that there are doubts on their part and a few others about whether I am completely sane or wise. Perhaps I should not trust the omnipotent Most High God as much as I do? Is the Lord's arm too short? (Numbers 11)
I loved the great encouragement I received from a friend when the issue of my future safety came up. He said, "There is nowhere saver than in the center of God's will." He was right. I am safer in God's will in "dangerous" country than out of God's will in a "safe" one. "What matter the beating wind and tossing billow if only we are in the boat with Thee?" I will not let the words of doubt defeat me, nor will I lose heart. My God is my rock and my strong foundation. All that matters is how He knows me.
January 2006
