Maps of Greece!

This is one of my most recent projects. I made two wall maps of Greece for the 3rd grade classrooms. I may make some more (of other maps!) because I enjoyed the project so much.  I'm still an elementary kid at heart. I've never gotten tired of coloring in the lines!

O Giver... of good gifts...

O Giver of good gifts... thank you for the abundant graciousness you flood me with.

But God... some gifts are hard to handle at first...
                   Sometimes too wonderful to behold and overwhelming with joy they spill over
                   Sometimes hard, aching, uncomfortable... 

                                 where all I want to do is                   

                                                                       crawl in a corner

                                                                                             and hide 

                                                                                                   because one of my greatest fears is...  

                                                                                                                                           being a burden.

And I... forgetting that God is the carrier of my burdens,

                                                                                                         press on in my pride, 

                                                                                                                                                  oblivious.

             forgetting the cross and finding only my fear, 

                                                                                                    shut my eyes to pain and joy alike.
 

But God... through all my foolishness, forgetfulness, blind fear and failures...

                                                                                                                       

YOU ARE THERE...

                                                                             Giving and giving the good, again and again.


463. Sunrise through red-orange zinnia petals
464. Slow mornings alone with papers and books
465. Coffee brewing smell
466. Laughing hard over dying rabbit calls
467. Sweet baby smell on my hands
468. Young people beginning their own lists 

The Yes and the No

This morning I saw the sunbeams fan out from behind the mountains and kiss the clouds so that they blushed. And when I found this poem, it felt like maybe Cummings had seen it with me.

e.e. cummings poem

i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

It is unusual for me to like a cummings poem this well because as a teacher of lots of kids who speak English as a second language, I struggle to read anything with such poor capitalization skills without marking it all up with red pen.

But this poem captures a lot. I like the end of the first stanza where it says, "which is yes"... everything which is yes... Isn't everything "yes" in Christ? And then paired with the middle of the third stanza, "the no of all nothing". Isn't that where the "no's" come from? Nothing. C.S. Lewis writes in the "Screwtape Letters" that nothing is very powerful and that many people are led astray by merely doing nothing.

"The Christians describe the Enemy as one "without whom Nothing is strong". And Nothing is very strong: strong enough to steal away a man's best years not in sweet sins but in a dreary flickering of the mind over it knows not what and knows not why, in the gratification of curiosities so feeble that the man is only half aware of them, in drumming of fingers and kicking of heels, in whistling tunes that he does not like, or in the long, dim labyrinth of reveries that have not even lust or ambition to give them a relish, but which, once chance association has started them, the creature is too weak and fuddled to shake off." ~C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters, Letter #12

The battle against nothing is only hopeless to those who are without Screwtape's Enemy, God. But with God, we can have open ears and open eyes to see the great somethings that God has given us as gifts. How beautiful it is to see all the "yes's", to see all the birth, to see "the gay great happening illimitably earth".

Versatile? Really?

So, I was nominated for something! This has never happened to me before! I'm not sure what to do with it exactly. Fortunately for me, there are rules from a joyful mother, who nominated me. Thank you!

According to her, I have 2 responsibilities: writing 7 things about myself and tagging 15 blogs with this award. I hate feeling conned into these sorts of things. What if I don't visit 15 blogs? I'm not the really obsessive blogging world type. My face to face life is pretty important and a bit more attention needing than the blog world. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy blogs. But I am nowhere near a faithful follower of more than 6 or 7.



So first, 7 things about me.

1. I'm not sure that my blogging is versatile. I always think that a versatile piece of clothing is one that you can wear with lots of different outfits, or a versatile person is one who can perform a lot of different jobs. But what makes a versatile blog? One that you can read when you are in different moods? One that goes with your outfit? I don't know. Or wait... I suppose this actually means that I'm a versatile person who has a blog. Well... I don't know about that either. Now I'm confused.

2. My least favorite job may just be emptying the dishwasher. I don't know why. It only takes 5-10 minutes. How can I procrastinate so much on something that takes so little time? I admit that I'm ridiculous.

3. I really love coloring. I don't mean drawing... I can draw a few things ok, but nothing realistic. I like coloring inside the lines. I find it relaxing. In this same category I like cross stitching because it is so ruled and ordered and repetitive.

4. I've always been a little vain about my feet. In a family full of ugly feeted people, I have lovely feet. So, I try to take care of them well to keep them that way.

5. Pumpkins make me happy. EVERY YEAR! Not carved ones, just the ordinary orange shapes... and anything else fall-ish. I think Fall in America is my favorite season... followed closely by Winter in America and Spring in the Middle East.

6. Plants and animals also make me happy. Some people say that I take too much pleasure in taking care of things without souls. I disagree. Soul-less things are far less responsibility.

7. I like watching Star Trek re-runs. Next Generation is my favorite.

Now for the tagging. I won't manage 15. But I'm sure the blogging police won't chase me down and arrest me!

1. Dragonflies and Kingfishers
2. The Empty Nest
3. Blessed to Be a Blessing
4. Mariana
5. Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts
6. Dancing with Dragons
7. Timmyjimi

That's all for now!

Sacrifice

You know, sometimes God asks us to give things up. They may even be good things. But I firmly believe that there is blessing in the sacrifice. I wouldn't sacrifice if I were my old self. But the old self is dead, and the decision to sacrifice came easily, although not without some sadness. I'm just waiting to see the amazing good that God brings out of it.

This week, Thankful for SO MANY THINGS!

442. A Surprise Wedding443. Time slowing with friends who are like family
444. Sunbreak joy
445. New dark brown bowls all smooth
446. The Yellow Tablecloth
447. Skype calls with old friends who use sports metaphors
448. 3rd grade portrait of myself
449. Braided playdough with marker spots that means love
450. Lanea and her learning to hug me from the front instead of sneaking up from the back all the time
451. Student eagerness to come to my home on a weekend
452. Sabbath day afternoon naps
453. Two wall maps of Greece for the classrooms
454. First sighting of fall pumpkins
455. Curried lentils
456. Sacrifice that God directs (because God will bring blessing!)
457. Student thankfulness lists
458. My teammate who is a noticeably more joyful and communicative person this year
459. Backrub machine on loan from a friend
460. A roommate willing to trade backrubs
461. Lunchtime conversations with students

Washington Fruit...

IN THE MIDDLE EAST! YAY!

Team Dinner

Every week we have dinner together as a team (those of us expat teachers at the school where I work). It's awesome. Tonight my housemate and I made breakfast for dinner: egg casserole, fruit salad, and muffins. We had a good time hanging out and fellowshipping together and got to hear about everyone's week and classes. There are so many wonderful things this week that I wasn't able to capture them all on my list, but here's a partial!

431. the smell of our fabric softener
432. Rereading a note from Ann Voskamp (I feel so blessed)
433. Molly making it back home
434. Morning time to be used well
435. Talking with Noor
436. Wall maps
437. BBC
438. Knowing people who make me feel safe
439. The first rain of the fall and the smell it makes in the dust (petrichor!)
440. Divine drawing of hearts
441. Sidesplitting stories

Fun Taking Pictures With the Noble Chickens

What? No Coffee?

It's been a crazy week. A really awesome good week. But zor full. So, some mornings basic things didn't get done... like I forgot to plug in the coffee pot. Oh sad. No coffee.

But I had some tea, so it was ok. =)
Today I am thankful for my good week. =)

415. Singing hymns
416. Katie chats
417. Sister chats
418. Cold water
419. Whole wheat bread
420. Peanut Butter on pancakes
421. Isaiah--so beautiful
422. My Redeemer who redeems the moments that I lose and the problems I've
created
423. Getting off a newsletter
424. Spontaneous divine appointments
425. Taking care of little ones at church
426. Early bedtimes
427. Finishing today's grading
428. Colored pens
429. Writing on the tiled walls
430. Pain that reminds me to pray

Are you smarter than a 5th grader?

My Question: What action did God take to create the universe?

Her Answer: "He said the things on his mind and it just happened and it came true."

Random Ramble (a peek inside my brain)

Living in constant awe of God is the only way to avoid sin. By walking with God I see his glory and am in awe of it. When in awe there is a feeling, a knowledge of God’s supremacy and of my own smallness. If I am insignificant and God is great, what are my desires? And how can I follow anything but God’s will? And if I am in awe of God and walking with him I am filled by him and lack nothing. I will not need to run to any earthly pleasure to fill myself.

So often I numb myself. The emotion is too great and I would rather be a straight level-headed person rather than an expressive feeling one. But by numbing myself to what is around me, I also numb myself to God. How foolish.

Enough of that... time to awe.

401. Being tired
402. Music History Studies
403. Leisure
404. Concrete Blocks on my roof
405. Dinner with friends
406. Sharing the past
407. Sherlock Holmes BBC--hysterical!
408. Morning Chickens
409. Hose water and dust foot-prints
410. Overflowing water tanks!
411. How can I find God? Questions.
412. Kids who read.
413. Sleeping through the night
414. My beautiful rooster

Groans that Words Cannot Express

How am I supposed to write something for the public that I can't even put in words myself? It is said that pictures are worth a thousand words. But sometimes they are worth more because they can say something that words can't. I wonder if that is how the Spirit prays for us... in pictures. No, it can't be that. God's words are powerful. His words "ARE" things. He says "mountain" and there is one. It's only we that have to speak in pictures. Even our words are images of pictures. And today I am wanting to say something that is so beautiful that it almost hurts. In some ways it hurts because it is so in-expressable. My pictures don't speak that beauty. Even they are inadequate. But what else can I do?

Worth

388. Seeing my students again--LOVE!
389. Being ready early... even if it wasn't really early
390. Aprons
391. Magical sunset evenings

392. Smooth dinner parties

393. Colorful pillow covers

394. Leftovers filling the freezer

395. Little child hugs

396. Teaching

397. Prayerful people

398. A Valley of Vision

399. Being alone

400. Never falling off of God's priority list

Do you ever?

Have moments of knee bruising awe?
Have your mind blown by what God is doing?
Think you might have been dreaming too small?
Wish you had a tape recorder for life and play some moments over and over?
Yearn for specific people deep in your heart?
Feel privileged to have the love of your family?
Find yourself so completely overwhelmed that it physically hurts?

This week I am so thankful.

372. Sunbreaks and beautiful clouds on the ride to my hotel
373. "Comfort Seats" in Amsterdam airport
374. Gloria Jeans Coffee and Starbucks
375. Being allowed to check in early!
376. Seagull cries
377. Molly's notes on the wall
378. Air conditioning on in my house when I came in
379. The power going out 2 minutes after I arrive home
380. Dinner with friends
381. Cleaning out the freezer that has been off for 2 weeks full of food
382. White Tea and Green Pear scented candles
383. Not losing things
384. Tiffany asking for a hair band as I say goodbye
385. Beiong called Uncle Colleen by Tyler
386. The quiet of no power
387. Coffee (I'm sure this has been on my list before! But today I'm thankful for it all over again!)

The Weight

A lot of people are familiar with C.S. Lewis' Weight of Glory, and it's a great essay. But there are other things that I feel have the same weight... perhaps they are part of the same glory. Today, for me, I feel the weight of Joy. I think that so often I've thought that Joy was light... light-hearted... light-footed, a dancing leaping and laughing thing. It can be, BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE!

There are heavy joys, like seeing a friend who's regained her hold on reality, like being free from a sin that you never noticed before, like having died to even a good thing you once held too dear, like being given the opportunity to see God revolutionize people's lives.

These are not giggles and skittles, daisies or puppies or orange juice. These things are dark chocolate, classical music, fine wine, flame-colored roses, lions, and wide quiet smiles. They are weighty joys.

359. Toasted Poptart Smell
360. Birthdays
361. Red Vines
362. Spontaneous iced coffee
363. Laurel's red teapot
364. Wall-maps
365. Weighty Joys
366. Old friends made right
367. Card games with my mother
368. Conviction, Confession, and Grace
369. Pushing my mom through pain
370. God uses our trials in the lives of others
371. Lloyd Alexander's books

Some of my favorite people...

On Being a Teacher...

Being a teacher has its pros and cons. You get summers "off" and you get to spend your time teaching kids to learn and think... these are just a few of the pros. I love it.

But there are cons as well. While you may have summers "off" they aren't really "free". I am still constantly thinking about my classes, students, and what I need to make ready. Then comes the part where you actually have to put it down on paper, and this takes a surprisingly long period of time, especially at the beginning of the year or when you are teaching a class you have never taught before.

All that to say, I have been living with Bach for the last several days. He's pretty fantastic. I've always known this, but I've been well reminded. The question then becomes, "How do I teach Bach?" Which then cascades and fractals into a myriad of other questions:

"Should I try to teach them to sing some of his harmonies?"
"Should I make them listen to him at home?"
"How can I make this more than just a homework assignment?"
"How can I teach them to love good music?"
"How much should I make the class self-led?"
"How can I teach the stories that make up the music?"
"Should I make them draw? Sculpt? Write music?"
"Should I offer extra credit?"
"How much vocabulary should I require them to know?"
...
...
...

I could keep going...

Whatever the case is, I love my students and am thankful for them... even in the summer.

346. Fellowship where you see God's hand working a pattern through lives
347. A friend who trusts me
348. Bach
349. Friends who drive a long way to see me
350. My students
351. Green plants outside my window
352. I can move my wrist and arm all around
353. I can cook
354. My brother Kevin's hugs
355. The smell of sandalwood soap
356. Socks
357. Strange books that make me think
358. Doggy fur

More from my days in Istanbul

I have discovered that one of my favorite things is stacks of color. It doesn't matter too much about what colors they are... but bright ones are good. You stack colors in bowls, scarves, towels, or books and suddenly I don't really want them to used them, but to have them stacked in my house in all their pretty colors. =)

Istanbul

I really like Istanbul. I've been there enough that I feel comfortable getting around and I enjoy all there is to see.

There is one major drawback to Istanbul though. As a young blond woman I gather far more attention than I would like (which would ideally be almost none!). In fact, I thought my TV spy shows had gotten me a little paranoid on this last trip over because at one point I thought someone might be following me. I paid some extra attention and kept an eye out only to find out that I was being followed! Hmmm... maybe I need more spy shows.

Anyway, here are few pics from my last trip through there.

337. Gift Certificates for things I really want coming out of the blue (or really heaven, hehe)
338. Friends who come over spontaneously
339. Farmer's market
340. Fresh cut grass
341. My mother's surgery going well
342. Learning a new way God has used me
343. I get to see my sister today
344. Family sounds
345. Running Water

My God Loves Me!

I know it comes as no surprise. I am not surprised at the statement itself. God has done more than enough to prove his love. But I am surprised at how he continues to do so again and again.

Several days ago I posted on my wonderings about making the right choices about money and things. The spark for those thoughts was a series of internal debates about whether or not I should shell out the cash a massage. I decided that it wasn't a wise use for my money.

I thought about it again when I entered the U.S. Decided I would look into it. And... low and behold, a friend had a gift certificate for a massage that he wasn't going to use. He gave it to me!

God provided a free massage for me. Pieces were set up for this months in advance. God was taking care of me and desires I had even before I knew I wanted them.

Amrika!

It is amazing how familiar I have become with the passport and customs area in the Seattle airport. My luggage always seems to be in the last group off the plane; I don't know why. But it gives me plenty of time to observe the people around me and process what it means to be back in the U.S.

My first observations this time through were mostly that my good friend, Katie, wasn't with me (as she has been for years flying into Seattle from the ME) and that I had no cell phone to call people and tell them I was nearly home.

Secondly, I noticed how tall everyone was. I'm used to being taller than most women and just barely shorter than the men. At 5' 6", I'm a very average height in the U.S. It just felt like all of a sudden I was surrounded by very tall men and women.

Thirdly, there is a relaxation and at-home-ness that I feel even in Seattle. Seattle is hours and hours away from my final destination, but I could drive there if all other transportation failed me. That, and all the airport personnel speak English fluently. This, too, is a relief of sorts. The only downside is that my blond hair no longer gets me special treatment. =D

It is nice to see family and friends. The U.S. is beautiful and comfortable and easy, but I am an alien and a stranger in this world.

Trusting God

So, we all know God will provide, right? But God moves in mysterious ways, too. We don’t always know the methods by which he will provide.

Thus it is when I am faced with a dilemma. My back is in knots from travel, stress, and bad posture. I could spend $75 at a really nice hotel next door for a great massage. It isn’t the most financially wise decision but God will provide what I need, right? And my back needs fixed. OR...

Perhaps rather I should not spend the money and trust God to fix my back and release the tension there on his own. After all, I can do a lot with $75 that will last much longer than 60 minutes. Maybe I’m just trying to step into his plans.

But what if I said this about a dentist? Should I go to the dentist and trust God for the money? Or trust God to take care of my teeth? Or has he provided for my teeth by means of the dentist? What about doctors?

What if it is something less clear, like needing some new clothes… I mean, we could all get by with a few less sets of clothing, but we also have expectations on us to look presentable and professional. Where do you trust God to provide?

Let’s say I have X amount of money. How do I choose to spend that money? What is the highest priority? What will glorify God the most? How am I even supposed to know?

PS. After posting my thankful list below, I am reminded that God loves me more than I know. He does more than I could ask or imagine. My choice in any of these things will not affect his abundant blessing toward me. He will make all things work together for my good.

304. Late night talks with Molly
305. God grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me
306. Strolling in Istanbul
307. A new skirt
308. Holding a woman's hand on the airplane to calm her during take off
309. Laughing with Iraqi women met in a store... "How can you live in Iraq? We can't even live there!"
310. Man on the elevator asking if I am from Moscow... hehe... He meant Russia.
311. Apple Tea and Jesus
312. God taking care of the things I can't control... like buses and the people they affect
313. Getting OFF of buses... I get carsick
314. I never thought I'd say this, but I am very thankful for McDonalds!
315. Being called beautiful... again... by someone else... when I feel at my lowest (in terms of beauty).
316. God has a good sense of humor
317. Spy skills
318. Sergyn and what he taught me about myself. Ouch.

Thankful List.

It's been ages since I've managed to get a post lined up with the Thousand Gifts "Multitude Mondays" over at A Holy Experience. And I can't think of anything to say right now, so I'll just post my list as it is currently.

290. I have arms
291. Agatha Christie novels
292. Vegetables
293. The ability to drive a stick-shift
294. A housemate I can live with and even enjoy!
295. Running farther than I have in a long time
296. My sewing machine is fixed.
297. Successful trip to the bazaar.
298. Sweat
299. Neutrogena lip stick
300. Being called beautiful
301. Being reminded of all the gifts God has given me: joy in my work, peace, joy in things other than drunken parties...
302. Cleansing
303. God is on the Throne
304. Holding a tetra-drachma from around 2 B.C., joy in the history there

Convicted

I've been reading through the verses on prayer lately as I study them in another language to therefore learn to pray in that language. I've also been reading and praying through the prayers in a book called "The Valley of Vision".


In all this, I've begun to wonder if I even know how to pray in my own language. There is so much lacking in my faith in my walk with God. I realize how there are parts of prayer I have consciously or unconsciously avoided because they made me uncomfortable or unsure. I would think, "How am I to pray like that?!"

But then I see it for what it is. How can I think that a God who has proved faithful over and over again, who has held up my life in every way, who blesses and overflows me with blessing again and again, who has done all this, how can I think that he will not continue to remain faithful to his word? How can he not keep his promises and do all and more than he has said?

I am a foolish woman.

I pray that I may learn to pray.

Whose Beauty?

It is a gratifying thing to be called beautiful. Every woman yearns to hear it.
But sometimes as nice as it feels there is something more that I want.
The last verse of one of my favorite hymns is running through my head today.

May His beauty rest upon me...

We Eat Well...

This is probably one of my biggest problems with becoming healthier this summer. I love to cook good food. And having a little more free time from school and needing breaks from language study, I have wanted to cook everything in sight. Then my roommate got a new cookbook. It's amazing! It is called The Quick Recipe. And after reading through some of it, my roommate had to sternly command me not to cook cinnamon rolls. Sad... :(

A Walk in the Park...

So... park walking and running has become my new morning recreation. Months ago we were walking at 7-ish am. But it's too hot then, now. But the park we run at is really a wonderful place. There are lots of people, even women. The parks are some of the only green left in the city. They water them so much. Even the plants on my patio are looking distressed. Has anyone tried growing tomatoes indoors?




Anyway, the park is lovely and green and the air in the mornings is less than 100 degree F. I took pictures one morning as I walked.