Monday, January 02, 2006

My Life as the Spectator in a Romantic Drama--part five

The last advice I gave Sarah as she was complaining about the lack of affection she was feeling from Daniel was to “Give more, expect less”. She was expecting an awful lot out of the guy and their phone conversations did not seem to be going very well. Neither was satisfied. She wanted evidence that she mattered to him and instead he viewed the call as a chore. I challenged her to find out ways to give to him instead of just expecting things from him. I also challenged her to work on being encouraging. So, she wrote an e-mail to him apologizing for her attitude and telling him why she appreciated him and was interested in him. That was an idea, although I didn’t read it so I don’t know if she was sappy, spunky, sincere, or silly. But as always, I expected the best out of her. I often find myself expecting the best out of people, unfortunately I often am disappointed as well. But here, I don't know. At this point she had thoughts about doing other things too: sending a care package or something. (After all, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.) She was unsure how far to push it. She really felt that her position was undefined (too bad she couldn’t look up her relationship in a dictionary, they really are useful most of the time!) and she didn’t know exactly what she could do in this bad position. There was a strange relationship-friendship dynamic, which was really difficult for them both, I am sure.

Finally, the difficulty overwhelmed Daniel. It really was a sad thing. He called her early (on Friday, not Sunday) and told her that they should not talk over the summer. He also called me and after leaving me a short, ambiguous message, he sent me an e-mail telling me what was going on… or maybe what was no longer going on. I think it shocked Sarah. She wasn’t expecting it at all. I wasn’t surprised; I saw the difficulty and both of their selfish natures. Long distance requires patience. Not that I don’t have a selfish nature of my own, I just know that it is there and try to deal with it. I have always been in for the waiting and praying. Maybe I am just scared of things like that. Maybe waiting just seems so much safer, because it does seem safer.

So that was their story. Another two people struck by infatuation, lose their minds and break their hearts. It is a sad world. I wish I could have done something about it, but I couldn’t. I did my very best. I prayed so much. But Sarah was not a girl to be controlled; nor is she easily influenced. Neither was Daniel.

Since their “break up” if they ever were actually “together”, Sarah was despondent. She nearly cried every time a green Chevy truck went by. Both eventually moved on to be happy and independent. They both were affected by what they learned… but I think, although both went about it in a completely silly (and often stupid) way, that they learned some good things. Sometimes the best lessons are learned by mistakes.

Sarah is now on her way to marrying a nice guy who likes to move quickly, which suits Sarah. That too is another story. Daniel's heart is set on the Lord and he will wait for a wife who is willing to wait for him and keep up with him.

This is the end of this chapter. But the true endings have not yet been written, not by me, not in time itself.


mreddie said...

Unrealistic expectations are always heartbreakers. Love cannot grow being held too tightly or too loosely and wisdom is required to tell the difference. The problem is that when infatuation walks in, wisdom is often tossed out the window.

I really liked your last line - "But the true endings have not yet been written, not by me, not in time itself." I'm so glad that we have a Friend that knows our endings and is able to help us to them and through them. ec

thebeloved said...

Amen! Thanks Mr. Eddie.