On Being a Teacher...

Being a teacher has its pros and cons. You get summers "off" and you get to spend your time teaching kids to learn and think... these are just a few of the pros. I love it.

But there are cons as well. While you may have summers "off" they aren't really "free". I am still constantly thinking about my classes, students, and what I need to make ready. Then comes the part where you actually have to put it down on paper, and this takes a surprisingly long period of time, especially at the beginning of the year or when you are teaching a class you have never taught before.

All that to say, I have been living with Bach for the last several days. He's pretty fantastic. I've always known this, but I've been well reminded. The question then becomes, "How do I teach Bach?" Which then cascades and fractals into a myriad of other questions:

"Should I try to teach them to sing some of his harmonies?"
"Should I make them listen to him at home?"
"How can I make this more than just a homework assignment?"
"How can I teach them to love good music?"
"How much should I make the class self-led?"
"How can I teach the stories that make up the music?"
"Should I make them draw? Sculpt? Write music?"
"Should I offer extra credit?"
"How much vocabulary should I require them to know?"
...
...
...

I could keep going...

Whatever the case is, I love my students and am thankful for them... even in the summer.

346. Fellowship where you see God's hand working a pattern through lives
347. A friend who trusts me
348. Bach
349. Friends who drive a long way to see me
350. My students
351. Green plants outside my window
352. I can move my wrist and arm all around
353. I can cook
354. My brother Kevin's hugs
355. The smell of sandalwood soap
356. Socks
357. Strange books that make me think
358. Doggy fur

More from my days in Istanbul

I have discovered that one of my favorite things is stacks of color. It doesn't matter too much about what colors they are... but bright ones are good. You stack colors in bowls, scarves, towels, or books and suddenly I don't really want them to used them, but to have them stacked in my house in all their pretty colors. =)

Istanbul

I really like Istanbul. I've been there enough that I feel comfortable getting around and I enjoy all there is to see.

There is one major drawback to Istanbul though. As a young blond woman I gather far more attention than I would like (which would ideally be almost none!). In fact, I thought my TV spy shows had gotten me a little paranoid on this last trip over because at one point I thought someone might be following me. I paid some extra attention and kept an eye out only to find out that I was being followed! Hmmm... maybe I need more spy shows.

Anyway, here are few pics from my last trip through there.

337. Gift Certificates for things I really want coming out of the blue (or really heaven, hehe)
338. Friends who come over spontaneously
339. Farmer's market
340. Fresh cut grass
341. My mother's surgery going well
342. Learning a new way God has used me
343. I get to see my sister today
344. Family sounds
345. Running Water

My God Loves Me!

I know it comes as no surprise. I am not surprised at the statement itself. God has done more than enough to prove his love. But I am surprised at how he continues to do so again and again.

Several days ago I posted on my wonderings about making the right choices about money and things. The spark for those thoughts was a series of internal debates about whether or not I should shell out the cash a massage. I decided that it wasn't a wise use for my money.

I thought about it again when I entered the U.S. Decided I would look into it. And... low and behold, a friend had a gift certificate for a massage that he wasn't going to use. He gave it to me!

God provided a free massage for me. Pieces were set up for this months in advance. God was taking care of me and desires I had even before I knew I wanted them.

Amrika!

It is amazing how familiar I have become with the passport and customs area in the Seattle airport. My luggage always seems to be in the last group off the plane; I don't know why. But it gives me plenty of time to observe the people around me and process what it means to be back in the U.S.

My first observations this time through were mostly that my good friend, Katie, wasn't with me (as she has been for years flying into Seattle from the ME) and that I had no cell phone to call people and tell them I was nearly home.

Secondly, I noticed how tall everyone was. I'm used to being taller than most women and just barely shorter than the men. At 5' 6", I'm a very average height in the U.S. It just felt like all of a sudden I was surrounded by very tall men and women.

Thirdly, there is a relaxation and at-home-ness that I feel even in Seattle. Seattle is hours and hours away from my final destination, but I could drive there if all other transportation failed me. That, and all the airport personnel speak English fluently. This, too, is a relief of sorts. The only downside is that my blond hair no longer gets me special treatment. =D

It is nice to see family and friends. The U.S. is beautiful and comfortable and easy, but I am an alien and a stranger in this world.

Trusting God

So, we all know God will provide, right? But God moves in mysterious ways, too. We don’t always know the methods by which he will provide.

Thus it is when I am faced with a dilemma. My back is in knots from travel, stress, and bad posture. I could spend $75 at a really nice hotel next door for a great massage. It isn’t the most financially wise decision but God will provide what I need, right? And my back needs fixed. OR...

Perhaps rather I should not spend the money and trust God to fix my back and release the tension there on his own. After all, I can do a lot with $75 that will last much longer than 60 minutes. Maybe I’m just trying to step into his plans.

But what if I said this about a dentist? Should I go to the dentist and trust God for the money? Or trust God to take care of my teeth? Or has he provided for my teeth by means of the dentist? What about doctors?

What if it is something less clear, like needing some new clothes… I mean, we could all get by with a few less sets of clothing, but we also have expectations on us to look presentable and professional. Where do you trust God to provide?

Let’s say I have X amount of money. How do I choose to spend that money? What is the highest priority? What will glorify God the most? How am I even supposed to know?

PS. After posting my thankful list below, I am reminded that God loves me more than I know. He does more than I could ask or imagine. My choice in any of these things will not affect his abundant blessing toward me. He will make all things work together for my good.

304. Late night talks with Molly
305. God grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me
306. Strolling in Istanbul
307. A new skirt
308. Holding a woman's hand on the airplane to calm her during take off
309. Laughing with Iraqi women met in a store... "How can you live in Iraq? We can't even live there!"
310. Man on the elevator asking if I am from Moscow... hehe... He meant Russia.
311. Apple Tea and Jesus
312. God taking care of the things I can't control... like buses and the people they affect
313. Getting OFF of buses... I get carsick
314. I never thought I'd say this, but I am very thankful for McDonalds!
315. Being called beautiful... again... by someone else... when I feel at my lowest (in terms of beauty).
316. God has a good sense of humor
317. Spy skills
318. Sergyn and what he taught me about myself. Ouch.

Thankful List.

It's been ages since I've managed to get a post lined up with the Thousand Gifts "Multitude Mondays" over at A Holy Experience. And I can't think of anything to say right now, so I'll just post my list as it is currently.

290. I have arms
291. Agatha Christie novels
292. Vegetables
293. The ability to drive a stick-shift
294. A housemate I can live with and even enjoy!
295. Running farther than I have in a long time
296. My sewing machine is fixed.
297. Successful trip to the bazaar.
298. Sweat
299. Neutrogena lip stick
300. Being called beautiful
301. Being reminded of all the gifts God has given me: joy in my work, peace, joy in things other than drunken parties...
302. Cleansing
303. God is on the Throne
304. Holding a tetra-drachma from around 2 B.C., joy in the history there

Convicted

I've been reading through the verses on prayer lately as I study them in another language to therefore learn to pray in that language. I've also been reading and praying through the prayers in a book called "The Valley of Vision".


In all this, I've begun to wonder if I even know how to pray in my own language. There is so much lacking in my faith in my walk with God. I realize how there are parts of prayer I have consciously or unconsciously avoided because they made me uncomfortable or unsure. I would think, "How am I to pray like that?!"

But then I see it for what it is. How can I think that a God who has proved faithful over and over again, who has held up my life in every way, who blesses and overflows me with blessing again and again, who has done all this, how can I think that he will not continue to remain faithful to his word? How can he not keep his promises and do all and more than he has said?

I am a foolish woman.

I pray that I may learn to pray.

Whose Beauty?

It is a gratifying thing to be called beautiful. Every woman yearns to hear it.
But sometimes as nice as it feels there is something more that I want.
The last verse of one of my favorite hymns is running through my head today.

May His beauty rest upon me...

We Eat Well...

This is probably one of my biggest problems with becoming healthier this summer. I love to cook good food. And having a little more free time from school and needing breaks from language study, I have wanted to cook everything in sight. Then my roommate got a new cookbook. It's amazing! It is called The Quick Recipe. And after reading through some of it, my roommate had to sternly command me not to cook cinnamon rolls. Sad... :(

A Walk in the Park...

So... park walking and running has become my new morning recreation. Months ago we were walking at 7-ish am. But it's too hot then, now. But the park we run at is really a wonderful place. There are lots of people, even women. The parks are some of the only green left in the city. They water them so much. Even the plants on my patio are looking distressed. Has anyone tried growing tomatoes indoors?




Anyway, the park is lovely and green and the air in the mornings is less than 100 degree F. I took pictures one morning as I walked.

The Not-So-Ordinary...

My life as a teacher is usually fairly predictable. I have scheduled classes I attend every day, I grade papers, and I read stuff for prep. Occasionally this regularity is punctuated by a child vomiting in the classroom, a visit from someone out of town, or the doorknob breaking and locking me or the students in or out of the classroom. These are the eventful days.


This summer, however, has proved to have it's own adventures. My arms are still weak feeling from carrying a heavy bookshelf up the stairs (with the help of a construction worker who was working next door). In the last week I've been chauffeur and photographer (in the dark!) for a wedding, soccer coach for dozens of children in over 100 degree heat, language learner, counselor for issues large and small, and problem solver for water shortages and appliance noises. This may be common for some of you, but it has been a busy week for me!





I noted the return of the mullet as a fairly common hairstyle for young boys here and we also cleaned, pulled up the rugs, and rearranged our living room.

265. Clean rug smells
266. Watching movies on the big screen (in the house!)
267. A new furniture arrangement
268. A new dress from Kuwait
269. Falling asleep from language study
270. Going to bed early because I'm so tired, this is a good thing.
271.Writing a note to Shokhan in Kurdish on my phone
272. Getting invited to RG with some students
273. Having water again in the house--and then not... again. hmm...
274. A day off
275. Living Water
276. Not having water not being a stresser. How cool is that! Totally a God thing.
277. The neighbor checking his trees in his pajamas
278. Lunch with my language tutor and giving her some company
279. Opening myself up for God to change me
280. Revelations (however painful) of how self-serving I am and how I seek my own glory
281. Good news from friends in Europe
282. Talking with Laurel on the phone
283. Red sparkles glinting on the wall from the jili kurdi my neighbors lent me
284. A quiet bus
285. Our dripping AC water caught in a bucket to flush the toilet =)
286. Zh. understands me!
287. Chatting and hanging out with Lizzy!
288. Long afternoon naps
289. A successful tournament

Being Thankful...

It's all in how you look at it. I realized the other day that it was a bit funny that I was thankful for the sign with an exclamation point on it. And being thankful for a road sign that isn't exactly informative is somewhat out of the ordinary. But if the world is a story, and more than that, a story written by a loving father, then what else could that sign be for? It doesn't represent just a traffic warning, it represents a God with a sense of humor with stories that are funny and encouraging. It represents conversations about punctuation in grammar classes and cultures allegorized by their writing styles. It's no longer just a sign for cars, it is a sign for me that I have a God who loves and writes a story with details that make me smile... even if I have been on a hot bus for 7 hours. Thank You!

Werzish

Exercise is a wonderful thing. Everyone talks about the endorphins and the energy you get and I don't doubt them. It's just that I haven't gotten there yet. I'm still at the drag myself out of bed and stumble around with sore muscles stage. I dream of the day where I can jog effortlessly like some of the people I've seen running. I hardly expect it to come, though. I just don't like running THAT much. It is rather freeing, especially her in the Middle East, for a woman to have a place where she can go and run or walk without feeling supremely awkward. So, I am thankful for the opportunity and the friends to encourage me to get in more exercise. Running or walking 4 times a week and doing exercise videos 5 times a week seems like we might be biting off more than we can chew, but I'm glad to aim high and it is the summer time after all. =)

254.My new orange skirt with sequins and all
255. Kalle helping me with my grammar and spelling
256. Jeremiah spending hours in the bazaar to find a part to fix the car
257. Breezes blowing at my back in Azadi Park
258. Seeing the guys awake, cheerful, and doing things in the morning
259. Mornings where we've accomplished things
260. Full breakfast with friends for dinner!
261. My chickens being cuddly in the evening
262. Running
263. Sore muscles that prove I did something!
264. Learning over and over again the same lesson, God cares enough that I actually get it... how patient he is. I wish I were so patient a teacher.

Good Gifts...

I've been pondering and discussing good gifts with people lately. It probably stemmed from my reading of Ann Voskamp's book "One Thousand Gifts" a couple months ago. But it resurfaced as my roommate and I were trying to buy a gift for a woman we don't know that well. We both like our gifts to be meaningful and special for that person. We don't like to give gifts that have no personal connection to the person. We want to get something the person will like and use. This is hard if you don't know the person well.

If we, who don't even know someone well, want to give good gifts, how much more does our father in heaven want to give good gifts?

What if he is giving us good gifts all the time, we just fail to see them for what they are. I think he is. I think I fail to see.

In part, I fail to see because I fail to ask. I've always been a timid prayer, more afraid that I'll ask for something I shouldn't have or that isn't God's will than boldly stepping out in faith (or even curiosity!). I wonder how many of God's gifts I've missed out on, not because they weren't given, but because I failed to see the giver in them.

For  the  real good of every gift is essential first, that the giver be
in the  gift-as God  always is, for He is love-and  next, that  the receiver
know and receive the giver in the gift. Every gift of God is but a harbinger
of   His  greatest  and  only  sufficing  gift-that   of  Himself.  No  gift
unrecognized as coming from God  is at  its own  best: therefore many things
that God would gladly give us, things even that we need because we are, must
wait until we  ask for them, that we may know whence they come: when in  all
gifts we find Him, then in Him we shall find all things.
                                  ----George MacDonald (#92, An Anthology, C.S. Lewis)



242. My new sticky notes program for my desktop
243. Warm bagel smell
244. Funny chicken noises
245. Convincing Erik chickens can be fun!
246. Our house is cool
247. Byki (computer flash card program)
248. The smell of fresh basil, tomato, and cilantro plants
249. Quality time with friends, just talking
250. A new TV show, Human Target, made me laugh with friends
251. Peach iced tea at the grocery store!
252. Having convinced the local theater to get Super 8. This is at the only real theater in this part of my country!
253. There is so much beauty in an eggplant

So my mother wants to see my chickens...

Easter: Check out my very long neck, everyone!

Hermes: I'm a one-eyed pirate! Arrrgh! ... oh, wait... actually, I'm winking at you! Can you tell?

Pecky: Strutting is what I do best. Have you noticed my fine feathers?

Pushy: I'll sit or stand on the highest thing I can find. This did prove a problem, however, as I... uh, descended down the wrong side of the wall from the roof and well,... made some noise. The tall man caught me and took me back to my peeps.

My happy chicken family.

No new thoughts...

It is amazing how studying a language can drain out any mental ability to think of anything else. I have a newsletter to write but even as I try to think about what has happened over the last month I come up with a random blur of vocabulary, students, grading papers, and having people over for dinner. And they pop into my head in such a fractalizing sort of way that no cohesion can be brought to them. I become tired just trying to think about what I'll write and then I give up. How on earth do people write books and memoirs and newspaper articles with deadlines? I haven't the foggiest idea... props to Miriam for all her hard work!

Now on to some thankfulness from my week!

230. Audio Books
231. Chickens survive a 3 story drop
232. Classical Music and how it's so Christian
233. Being able to predict the power schedule
234. Playing football with the 5-7th grade girls
235. Problem solving on an elementary level
236. I am of a people held
237. Librivox
238. George MacDonald and all I learn of truth from his characters
239. Having a friend I can vent to who understands what it is like here
240.Our mubarida (swamp cooler) and how I even felt cold during an afternoon nap--it's over
100 degrees F outside!
241. Pushy's pitiful and cute attempts at crowing

Pride

I remember reading about the seven deadly sins in the Faerie Queen in high school. Pride is such a key to all of them, a love for self that has permutations in various pleasures or behaviors. Pride gives way to each of them. But pride in and of itself is destructive on its own.

We see it in the faces of small children who don't receive a trophy or win a game. They are hurt not because they scored fewer times, but because they did not receive glory. It is easy to see in them, they haven't yet become skilled in covering up their pride and self-seeking attitude.

But we adults are the same way. We dislike being neglected, forgotten, behind the scenes, because we want attention, honor, glory. Maybe we don't want it in all areas, but each of us has an area we really care about, something we want recognition for, or something we feel we deserve.

Whether we deserve it or not, whether it is given or not, I have found it imperative to be willing to bring myself to my knees and kill those desires. Unless a seed die... Unless I die to myself, I am rejecting the life of joy where God's glory is made manifest. How much better to live in awe and wonder at what God is doing, rather than be puffed up with myself.

Smile

Some days we all just need a smile!