It's completely dark in my house now... except for the arresting white of my computer screen. Somehow it got dark while I sat here; the sun set, I didn't move.
I feel blah. You know that feeling where you were given a whole day to live and breath and accomplish great things and you did so little. One phone call, one missed call, another call forgotten. A couple of times of eating. I do have a little to show for today. Several inches of afghan suddenly appeared in the dark green yarn. I did catch up on White Collar while the green pineapple shapes spread across my already too warm lap. But that is hardly an accomplishment. I should have weeded the garden even though I don't know what I'll plant there. I should have heated the labels off the wine bottles in my craft room so that I could have turned them into my own crafts. I should have swept the kitchen floor.
But you know, I could have done all of these things and while it might have taken the edge off of the blah, the deep heart blah would still be there. It's all because I didn't talk to God. Sure, I threw out a few phrases every now and then... maybe that's the wrong way to put it. Sure, I talked to God. But I didn't LISTEN. I didn't read his word, or open my heart in the quiet stillness, or sit on his lap and just be. And that is why I'm blah, today.
I have no life if I hear not the author of life. There is still time in the day. I could take care of the garden, the floor, or even tackle those bottles. But a few hours of work and a night's rest won't dispel the fog in my heart.
Off I go. This dragon will die. I know a good knight who will fight for me.